Kallu Nai

So today started out with meeting a CSer for breakfast. Madhavi was supposed to host me during my stay in Delhi but some unforeseen circumstances arose and she wasn't able to but she still agreed to meet me for a meal. Madhavi is one of the most fun people I've met while I've been on this trip. She is hilarious and has viewpoints quite different than the "good Indian girl". She's just a little more liberal than most. Sure, she still wears the saree, but you can also find her hanging out her window screaming at the rickshaw drivers when they won't get out of her way. She provided me with several laughs during our time together. I think her general funniness is amplified by her very Indian accent. I think the term we would use in the States for a girl like her is a "firecracker." Designers of the Patterson School summer reading list will also be happy to know that Madhavi gives her ringing endorsement of the book "In Spite of the Gods".

Before we parted I asked her about theatre performances in Delhi. I was interested in seeing a show. I didn't' care what show, just something "Indian". She told me she'd look into it and give me a call. True to her word, she called me about an hour later and told me about a show called Kallu Nai. She explained that the only drawback was that it was in Hindi. I told her it didn't really matter and that it might even be better that way. I thanked her and got ready to go.

Of course my rickshaw driver got lost. We're cruising up and down the road with no idea where the place is. When we finally find it, it's about 2 minutes to show and I rush up to the ticket counter and request one ticket.

"Sir, you realize this show is in Hindi?"
"Um, yeah. One ticket please."
"No English."
"Ok. Yeah. Sure. One ticket."
"No refund. Please fill out this card."

He shuffles me over to this other desk where I put my name and email address down and throw it in a bowl. I run to the bathroom real quick and wash my hands and then return to the theatre and find my seat.

I would consider it an authentic experience. Here I was, surrounded by sarees, turbans and leather sandals with my little white face sticking out like a sore thumb. The fact I was wearing deodorant also drew attention to me, I think. I started drawing up a game plan. I want to fit in, so I decided just to laugh when everyone else did. That worked fairly well, only it was like a 2 second delay. I would look out of the corner of my eye and see if people were smiling and I would smile too. I had no idea what was going on on that stage. Best I could tell it was about an Indian Popeye with a Hitler mustache who moonlights as a Doctor. Whether he was a real doctor or not, I'm still not for sure. The show was really not too bad. I could have done without the strange Indian House music during the interludes and the shoddy choreography but that's nitpicking.

The show ends and the cast comes onto the stage, takes a bow, everyone claps. Yadda yadda yadda. Then, the director comes onto stage and takes a mic. I cant' understand a word he's saying so I just take my cues from everyone else. He calls a little girl from the audience and she comes up on stage. Then, from stage left comes a familiar bowl filled with paper. Uh oh. Door prizes. (As a side note, who ever heard of door prizes at a play?) I slouched in my chair a little. Please please please don't call me. The little girl pulls a name out. Completely Indian name. I'm safe. Whew. Let's go home. The woman walks up to the stage to accept her prize. The director implores the girl to pull another name. She does and hands it to him. He looks at the paper, cocks his head, shows it to the guy standing next to him. "Pah-treek Bahr-keer". I can feel the eyes all looking at me. Everyone knew I was the Patrick Barker. I looked around and stood up, walked up on the stage as the director babbled in Hindi. I took my prize, gave a completely awkward bow and walked off the stage. I could see the folks in the crowd concealing smirks. Oh well, they can laugh. I've got a fantastically awesome air freshener and they don't!

Afterwards I needed a dose of home. I should have known better. I asked a rickshaw driver to take me to the McDonald's close to my hotel. I walked in with dreams of a couple cheeseburgers, fries and I coke. But, as Meatloaf says, two out of three ain't bad. I should have known that there would be no beef in that place. Not with all of it walking around out on the streets getting in the way of traffic. I had to settle for a McAloo Tiki, which was a weird potato patty stuffed with peas and covered in a creamy sauce. It actually wasn't so bad. I may have another one tomorrow.

So that was my evening. I'm going to change clothes and turn on CNN World so I can actually hear some English spoken tonight. Take care.